This year on Mother’s Day, I took some time to reflect on my importance as a mother to the people around me. In many ways I feel that I have set a standard. I have been in contact with many women, various ages, who I have had the blessing of sharing what wisdom I do have as a mother to their benefit. Despite our rocky relationships I, through diligent insistence, have set a standard on what proper co-parenting looks like with the fathers of my children. I have even set a standard for myself, refusing to give in to the ineffective ways of parenting that I grew up learning, and having to face myself and humble myself to become a better mother to my children. This is something that I continue to do even to this day.
Photo courtesy of Dayspring Cards, www.dayspring.com
This led my thoughts to January 17, 2014, when my children were snatched by the Indiana Department of Child Services. Because I refused to sign a contract agreeing to no longer use physical discipline with my children, I was deemed abusive and neglectful and fought for two months to get my children back. However, the effects of this violation on the integrity of my family was felt for at least two years after. Over this span of time, I had the opportunity to connect with other families, other mothers who were fighting the same fight, but weren’t as successful. Grandmothers, crying to me on the phone, because they understand the snare the corruption of this department is laying for their child’s feet, and hurting for them because as the grandparent, there really is not much they can do. I learned that this is not just an Indiana problem, it’s a nationwide problem that often gets swept under the rug and overlooked because the mainstream media always has a story at their disposal about “bad parents” who have somehow forfeited their right to have children.
This Mother’s Day, my heart and thoughts are really with those mothers who are spending their time at home alone-not by choice, but by force. Not because it is deserved, but because strangers have decided that you have failed to fit into the mold of what the government has deemed to be acceptable parenting.
I want you to know, Dear Mother, that it will be okay. Since 2014, my prayers have been sent up on your behalf continually, praying for justice, as well as your wisdom and peace in this matter. Don’t be afraid to make the scary decisions. Don’t be afraid to say no to what is being offered, if you believe that it is not working in your family’s best interest, regardless of what CPS may say. Stand firm. Pray. Hold them accountable at every turn. The greatest piece of advice that I can offer you is to pray. The I know God will not tolerate injustice against widows and the fatherless (Deuteronomy 27:19). In today’s terms, these are single mothers and children of absent fathers, the type that CPS often seems to prey upon. It doesn’t seem that way now, but if you keep up the fight, and refuse to allow the shame of being listed as a “perpetrator” of abuse and neglect take your voice away, there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. Because honestly, if you will not stand up to fight tirelessly for your children, then what will you fight for?
Yesterday, someone sent me a video showing a parental rights rally in California. It encouraged me greatly to see these people using their voice to speak out against what they believe to be injustice in the family court system. I want to share this with you, and hope that it encourages you too. You are not alone!