October 17, 2018

Photo by Paul Efe 

Listen, I don't want no smoke from anybody after reading this.



But, I thought that if I was going write a note about the Man-Child, it would only be fair to address the phenomenon recently known as the,"Pick-Me Woman."


So here goes:


A Pick Me Woman is usually born out of a 

1. Fatherless Home

2. A home with a weak female/motherly figure. Often times raised by a woman who became a mother in her adolescence, or a mother who often chose men she dated over her children.


3. A woman who has no idea about who she is as a woman.


Although she may share similar traits as other women who have low-self-esteem, the Pick Me is unique in that her perspective about what role she plays in her relationships is shaped by White-feminist ideology; for example, the denial of the need for a patriarchal man or strong male figure in her life. The problem is, not respecting a man's role as the head of a woman (in the natural order of things), denies the characteristics that should ideally come with patriarchy-such as responsibility, accountability and paternalism-which perpetuates the cycle of immature and incapable men that the Pick Me is usually associated with dating. Her self worth and identity has been weakly strewn together by seeds planted in her mind through her favorite rap songs, which are often written and performed by men who fall into the category of a man child.


Something that I have often noticed in women who are Pick Mes without children is their blatant (and sometimes subtle!) disrespect of women who have children, especially single mothers. They take pride in being able to say they, "ain't got no kids" and putting other women down who have them because they believe this makes them appear more attractive. However, secretly it's just that they are bitter because they either have a hard time having children, or they are in love with a man-child who does not want the responsibility of a child because he has no long-term intentions with her anyway.

Pick Mes with children will often tout how they are, "independent and don't get no help," often making reference to the fact that she does it all by herself, "without child support." But honestly, in the 32-years that I have been on this earth, I have never met a mother saying this who wasn't secretly bitter about it.



Of course, this is all based solely on my own observations, and can vary depending on the circumstances. What do you think?d can vary depe

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